Funny Adult Whatsapp Non Veg Joke Collection

Nonveg Bonanza

Question - What Is Difference Between A BOOT (Shoes) & CHOOT.?
Zabardast Answer -
BOOT Accepts Only ONE Size, Whereas CHOOT Accepts ALL Sizes..

College Me, Mam-"
Lakir ka Fakir" Muhavare ka udhahran do"
Boy"
Aap Bura to Nahi Manegi?
Mam-
Nahi Bura Q?
Boy-Aapki Panty ke andar
jo Lakir he
Hum Uske fakir hai..

ek wife ko shadi k bahut salo baad pta lga k uska husband CHHAKKA h aur usko Plastic k Lund se chodta tha....wife- tumne itni bdi baat mujhse chhupai, tumne meri zindgi barbaad kr di.....
husband- baat ko aagey na badhao, maine itne salo me kbi puchha k BUNTY & BABBLI Plastic k Lund se kaise paida ho gye? 

------------------------
Aaj kal ke bachho ki haramipanti :

MADAM : shor mat karo nahi to khadda kar dungi..

Bachhe:
pehele mera..
pehele mera..
pehele mera..
_____________

Beta-Papa, Ye "Sex" kya hota hai ?

Santa thinks oye bahenchod ye kya puch liya bete ne, par batana to padega.

Aftr that he says- Beta, sex me hum ladki k kapde utarte hai fir apane kapde utarte hai, fir ladki ko pas me late hai uske boobs dabate hai fir vo hamara lund chusti hai, fir hum uski gand me ungal karte hai, fir tel laga k ladki ki chut me lund dal k hum lund ander bahar karte hue use chodte hai.

Ye hota hai sex.

Beta- Admission form me kya likhu? :D
_____________

GIRLS put makeup, lots of creams , sexy perfumes & they make the best hairstyle EVER.
.
.
Finally guys look at them and say:
.
.
BHENCHOD GAAND DEKH SAALI KI .... :p !

__________

Boy: Tu kitne baje uthti hai?

Girl: Apna koi time nahi hai. Jab dil kare so jaati hoon, aur jab dil kare uth jaati hoon

Boy: Naughty! Tu bilkul mere LODE pe gayi hai.. :D

______________

Customer- bhai saheb dettol sabun hai?

Dukandaar (lauda khujlate huye)- haan hai.

Customer- to behen k lode, us se haath dho ke 1 kilo cheeni dede.

-----------------------------
TATA ko ab pata chala ki
NANO CAR Me 2 Problems hai..
1. Pregnant Woman andar nahi aa sakti.
And
2. Car ke andar Normal Woman Pregnant nahi ho sakti..! ;)
------------------------------
Doct.-Mareez ko Agar 1 ghanta pehle le aate to hum isey bacha lete.

SANTA-bhenchod, aadhe ghante pehle to acident hua, fir 1 ghanta pehle kya hospital gaand marvane laate?
-----------------------
Girl (During  sex): Nahi ye galat hai
Boy: But I Luv U
G: Fir b galat hai
B: Hum shaadi kar lenge
G: abe chutiye jahan daal raha hai, wo jagah galat hai..
------------------------
Madam Ne English Period Mein Munni Se Puchha,
Madam: 'Translate This Sentence In Hindi - Pappu Gives Me 14 And 15 Rupees'
Munni Sharmate Hue: 'Mam, Pappu Ne Mujhe Choda Aur Pandra Rupaye Diye'

------------------------
Jale hue boobs lekar Sardarni hospital me admit hui
Dr: kaise jal gaye
Sardarni: KAMINE
Tune hi to kaha tha
Bacche ko dudh pilane se pehle
NIPPAL UBAL lena!

----++-----------------
Petrol Ke Badte Rate Ko Dekhte Hue Ek News Channel Walo Ne Report Di:
Aaj Ke Bad Petrol Pump Par Adult Movies Chala Karengi
Taki Aap Petrol Bharvate Hue Usi Time Pe Kisi Aur Ko Bhi Chudte Dekh Sako ......
-------------------------
Nawab Saab Kothe pe Gaye,
Dalte Hi Leak Ho Gaya.
Tawayaf Adab Se Boli-
Huzur Ne Q Taklif Uthai.??
Chammach Me Nikal K
Bhijwa Diya Hota,
Hum Izzat Se Andar Daal Lete....

Funny {Hot} Adult Non Veg Jokes for Whatsapp Messenger as SMS Messages

Hindi Adult Non Veg Jokes for Whatsapp Messenger

 Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, 
just like at the dinner table ...

Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: 
Honey, would you pass the boobs please??

Hindi Adult Non Veg Jokes for Whatsapp Messenger

       Husband is praying before going to bed ...

Wife: What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance.

Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!

             Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,

aap ek baar try karo na!"

Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."

Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"

Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.

Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-

"kar nahi paaunga"

Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.

       Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?

Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.

Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

     GHOR KALYUG:

Boy :Chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chalte hain !

Girl :Tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge ?

Boy :Bilkul nahi !

.

.

.

.

Girl :To phir rehne de kameene :)


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WhatsApp Non Veg Funny Jokes in Hindi

                                                                 Little bird in the sky,

Dropping potty in the eye,

u don’t worry,

u don’t cry,

u just thank god,

That Cow’s don’t fly.

     Pati: Sex ho jaye?

Wife:Nahi

Pati: Zewar la dunga

W:Nahi

Pati: Car launga

W:Nahi

Beta so raha tha..beech me bola: Papa meri gand mar lo par CYCLE la do...

   Ladki to Dr: Bachcha 2 din se doodh nhi pi raha

Dr ne Bra me hath daala aur kafi der taK bobbs ko masal ke bola

Doodh hi nai hai

Ladki:"Main to iski Mausi hoon"

       Wife: Please zara ye bra ka hook laga dijiye.

Hus: I will charge 4 kisses.

Wife: Rahne do, padosi Se free me lagva leti hu, wo haath daal kar Set bhi kar denge.

Non Veg Funny Jokes in Hindi For WhatsApp as SMS Messages

Non Veg Funny Jokes in Hindi for WhatsApp

1.       Santa: Jab mai mar jaun to

samne wali family ko zaroor bulana.

Banta: Kyun???

Santa: Yaar unke ghar ki ladies

                                                          murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.

Non Veg Funny Jokes in Hindi for WhatsApp

2.       Aik AurAt doosri se:

JAb TumhAri TAlAAq hoi tou

TumhArA 1 BAchA thA,

Ab 3 hAin…! KAisey ?

Doosri shArmA k:

Woh kAbhi kAbhAr MAAfi

                                                         mAAngney AA jAtey hAin…!

Non Veg Funny Jokes in Hindi for WhatsApp

3.       Aurat Doctor se: Mujhe chabi

wala teeka laga dain

.

Doctor: Ap k kitnay bachay hain

.

Aurat: MASHALLAH mere 11

bachay hain.

Doctor: Phir to Taala he lagwa lain..

4.       Q: What is Differance between

Aadami & Aurat?

A: Aurat ek hi Aadami se Bahut

sari Ummeed karti hai.

Aur Aadami Bahut Saari Aurato

                                                    se ek he Ummeed karta hai..

Best Hindi Non Veg Adult Shayari Jokes for WhatsApp Messages SMS

Enjoy thousands of Adult Hindi Jokes, also called Dirty Hindi Jokes or funny adult Hindi jokes or Sexy Hindi Jokes or Adult Indian Jokes or Hindi Sexy Jokes. We have all kind of Dirty Adult & Sexy Non Veg Jokes In Hindi & English Adult Language. We provide you with latest Non veg Hindi Jokes and Adult Non Veg SMS

Hindi Non Veg Adult Shayari for WhatsApp

                                                       1.       Nargis se ek program main

kisi ne sawal poocha:

Aap subah uth k sab se

pehle kya kaam karti hain??

.

.

.

.

Nargis:

Apnay ghar jati hoon..!

Non Veg Adult Shayari in Hindi for WhatsApp Messages

2.       1960″s girl

Ami ma jeans pehn lon?

Ami

Nahi beshrm log kia kahen gey

2010″s girls

Can i wear jeans?

Mom

Pehn le meri bachi ALLAH ka

wasta kuch to pehn le..

Non Veg Adult Shayari in Hindi for WhatsApp Messages

3.       Teacher: ‘kisses’ ko sentence

mainn is tarah istamal karo

k word b na ae aur meaning ajae?

.

.

.

.

Student: Aj subha subha begam

se bohat moun mari hoi…

Non Veg Adult Shayari in Hindi for WhatsApp Messages

4.       80 yr Man:My 20yr Wife is

Pregnant.Any advice?

Dr said pehle 1 story suno

1 Shikari ko shikar pe jane

ki jaldi thi,wo Gun ki jaga

ghalti se Chatri le gya,

usne jungle mai 1 Sher dekha,

jaldi se Chatri ka handle

khencha aor fire kia,

sher gira aur mar gaya

Old man:Namumkin Kisi aor

ne fire kia hoga.

Dr:EXACTLY

Non Veg Adult Shayari in Hindi for WhatsApp Messages

5.       Mureedni:

peer Gi mujhy ilhaam sikhayain

Peer:

zra qareeb ao.

mureedni:

peer ji mujhay kiss to

nahin karain gay?

Peer:

daikha tuje ilhaam hona

shuru hogya hy..

Non Veg Adult Shayari in Hindi for WhatsApp Messages

6.       HAr KhuShi sE KhobSurAt TEri ShAM kAr doon,

ApNa BALAnCE or SiM TErE nAm kr don,

Mil jAyE AgAr 1bAr Tu MujhE,

ChuMiyAN Le Le k tera mou laal kerdun..

   Director 2 Sunny Leone-

Suhagrat ka scene hai,

Dudh ka glass le ke jana hai

Aur hero ko pilana hai.

:

:

:

:

:

Sunny Leone:- Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to

Hema Malini Ko le lete. !

       Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Ek Bhikari: “Behanji ek rupiya dedo.”

Sunny Loene gave him 1000 Rs.

Secretary: “Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?”

Sunny Loene: “Pehli bar kisine behan kaha hai..

dil bhawuk ho gaya.

       Shahid Kapoor must have rejected

‘Grand Masti’ coz he thought

the letter ‘r’ is unnecessarily

added to the title.

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Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi | Double Meaning Naughty SMS 140 Words

Funny Non Veg Jokes in Hindi 140 Words | Double Meaning Naughty SMS 140 Words

Bus Mein Bohat Crowd Thi

Aadmi(Moti Aurat Se): Madam Apne Santre Sambhaal Ke Rakhiye!

Aurat: Tumhe Kya Problem Hai, Santre Mere Hain

Aadmi: Santre Aapke Hain Par Juice Mera Nikal Raha Hai!

Non Veg Adult Jokes in Hindi | Non Veg Jokes

जिनके दिन खराब चल रहे होते हैं,

.

.

.

उनके सपने में

सन्नी लियॉन भी

साड़ी पहन के आती है...

Funny Nonveg Whatsapp Jokes adult Non Veg Jokes

Phone Rings Late Night:

Hubby- Honey if anyone asks about me, then say I am not at home

Wife picked and said: He is at home

Hubby shouted: WTF… are u insane!!

Wife: Shut up! It was for me

18+ Majedar Suhagrat Jokes | Non Veg Double Meaning Jokes  

Suhagrat ko Pati ne apni Patni se bade hi pyaar se puchha -
"Darling aaj ki raat tum mujhse jo bhi mangogi main tumhe sure lake Dunga"
Patni ne jaldi se Takiye ke nichhe se ek photo nikali aur boli -
"Please iss bande ko aaj ki raat laa do aur tum kahi chale jao"

*********

Jab Ladki ki Suhagrat ke baad uski Saheli Puchhti hai
Kaisi rahi Suhagrat ?

To vo batati hai – "Aaye the wo der se, Dil jala diya,
Pahle kiya Kiwad band,
Fir Deepak Bhuja diya ...
Pahle khel khelne lage Seena Tatolkar,
Fir khel khelne lage Underwear khol kar,
Ek Jang Aisi chhidi Palang par,
Gole wali Top rakh di Surang par,
Yah tha 9 Minute ka Majaa,
Ab bhog rahi hu 9 Mahine ki saja,
9 Mahine baad 1 aisa ho ga Visfot,
Jo ban jayga Bharat ke liye 1 Aur Vote...

*********

Suhagrat Ke Baad, Pati Apni Patni Se Bola
Pati - Arey BlooD To Nikla Hi Nahi...
Patni Ne Guusse Main Aakar Jawab Diya
-
Patni - "Kyu be Harami Tune Andar Teer Mara Tha Kya."

*********

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Guste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati : "Arrey Tumne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue : "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Dudh Zarur Pila Dena"

*********

Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, November Ka Mahina Thha Aur Kadake Ki Sardi padd Rahi Thi...
Kamre Mein Aate Hi Vo Rajayi Mein Ghusa Aur So Gaya,
Patni Ne Ye Dekha Aur Thodi Der Bad Usko Kohni Mar Ke Boli,
Patni : "Suno Ji, Meri Taango Ke Bich Mein Ek Mori (Hole) Bhi Hai"
Aadmi Gusse Se : "To Band Kar Us Mori Ko, Main Bhi Sochu Rajayi Mein Thandi Hawa Kaha Se Aa Rahi Hai"

*********

Ladke Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Rat Ko Kamre Mein Gaya Aur Dulhan Ka Ghungat Utha Ke Uska Chehra Dekh Ke Bola...
Dulha : "Tum Itni Sunder Ho, Samajh Mein Nahi Aata Tumhe Kya Kahu?"
Bahar Khada Uska Baap Sun Raha Tha, Ye Sun Ke Wo Bola...
Baap : "Beta Bas Tu Use Ek Baar Maa Kah de, Baki Mein Dekh Lunga"

*********

Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Par Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye...
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.
Dulhan : "Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?"

*********

Ek 75 saal ka buddhe ne 15 saal ki ladki se shadi ki, Suhagrat par dono khub roye...
Kyoki ladki kuch janti nahin thi aur bhuda sab bhul gaya tha...

*********

Suhagrat ko Dulha bola : Jaan, Aaj raat tumhe chand pe le jaaun ya taaro pe...
Dulhan sharma ke boli : Ye to Aapka rocket dekh kar hi bataa paungi...

*********

Mochi Ki Shaadi Hui,
Suhaagraat Mein Woh Kuch Kiye Bina Hi So Gaya.
-
Biwi Ne Uska Haath Apne Neeche Lagaya Toh Woh Chonk Ke Bola,
-
-
-
"Isski Silaai Ke 35 Ruppaye Lunga"

*********

Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi Toh Wo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola,
Aadmi : Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.

Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola : Ji Chinta mat Karo, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye Toh Bhi Nahi Tutega...

*********

Suhagraat Ke Baad :
Pati -Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?
Patni -Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya... Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi...

*********

Ek Aadmi Jiski Mobile Ki Shop Thi Uski Shaadi Hui
Suhagrat Se Agle Din Uske Dosto Ne Puchha
-
Dost - Kyu Bhai, Kaisi Rahi Suhagrat?

Mobile Wala Udasi Se - Kuch Mat Pucho Yaaro, Pehale 5 - 6 Bar To Mis Call Lagi, Aur Jab Sahi No. Laga To Balance Hi Khatam Ho Gaya...

*********

Suhagrat par Dulhe ne Dulhan ki aankh ko chuma...
Dulhan : Ye Kya?
Dulha : Aankh Zindagi ki kitab hai..
Dulhan : Niche library main Aag lagi hai aur tu kitab main ghusaa hua hai...

**********

SuhagRat par dulha - Ya Allah Mujhe Taqat aur Tajurba de
Dulhan - Suniye ji sirf taqat ki dua mang lijiye,
Allah ke fazal se Tajurba to yahan bahut hai...

**********

Pappu apni pahali Suhagrat ko apni Dulhan ko Sahlate hue bola - Apko pata hai..
Main hamari sadi se pahale 6-7 Ladies ke sath So chuka hu...
Dulhan Muskrate hue - Mujhe to pahale se hi pata tha,
Jab hamari Kundli itni achhi milti hai to hamari AAdatein bhi Jarur milengi hi na...

**********

Suhagrat par Patni Pati se boli, Dekho pls mere pass mat Aana"
Pati : But kyu?
Patni : Mane mummy se promise kiya tha ki Sadi ke baad ye sab Chodd dungi...

**********

Suhagraat ko husband wife se bolta hai ijaajat hai?
Wife - Hai ji.
Husband sari raat saxx karta hai aur wife Bimar ho jati hai...
husband wife ko sasural chodd kar wapas aane ke liye apni Saas se bolta hai - ijaajat hai?
Ye baat sun kar wife jor se chilla kar bolti hai - Maa ijaajat mat dena, nahi to tumhari bhi Phaad daalega...

18+ Non Veg Double Meaning Jokes in English

18+ Non Veg Double Meaning Sms Jokes in English

 Difference between good girls and bad girls
Good girls open few buttons in hot atmosphere,
But bad girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot.

 

Funny Non Veg Jokes In Hindi 140 Words | Double Meaning Naughty Jokes

Funny Non Veg Jokes In Hindi 140 Words | Double Meaning Naughty SMs Jokes

Bus Mein Bohat Crowd Thi

Aadmi(Moti Aurat Se) ~ Madam Aap Apne Santre Sambhaal Ke Rakhiye….

Aurat ~ Tumhe Kya Problem Hai ? Santre Mere Hain

Aadmi ~ Santre Aapke Hain Par Juice Mera Nikal Raha Hai

Ladka Ladki Non Veg Double Meaning Jokes SMS in Hindi | Naughty Jokes in Hindi

Ladka Ladki Non Veg Double Meaning SMS in Hindi | Naughty Jokes in Hindi

Ladka Ladki Se: Tum Kitne Bhai Behan Ho?

Ladki: 8

Ladka(Shararat Bhare Mood Mein): Kyon? Tumhare Daddy Ko Koi Aur Kaam Nahi Tha Kya?

Ladki: Tum Kitne Bhai Behan Ho?

Ladka: Sirf 1

Ladki: Kyon Tumhare Daddy Mein Dum Nahi Tha Kya?