Funny Hindi Shayari with Image Funny

Hindi #Shayari Image Funny

Hindi Shayari Funny Image

Santa Banta Joke in Hindi with Picture Santa Banta Hindi Jokes

Santa Banta Joke in Hindi with Picture Santa Banta Hindi Jokes 

Funny PK Movie Fact Picture | Pk hai Ke

Funny PK Movie Fact Picture

PK Movie मे राजू की मां ने फरहान के पिता से शादी की इसलिए रेंचो 

एलियन बन गया

Latest Kapil Sharma Jokes With Pictures, Comedy Nights With Kapil Jokes in Hindi

Latest Kapil Sharma Jokes With Pictures

Latest Kapil Sharma Jokes With Pictures, Comedy Nights With Kapil Jokes in Hindi

Comedy Nights With Kapil Sharma Hindi Jokes with image

Comedy Nights With Kapil Sharma Hindi Jokes

Comedy Nights With Kapil Sharma Hindi Jokes

Chaloo..Santa Aur Bunta Ke Saath..Kuch Haas Le

Santa Aur Bunta Ke Saath..Kuch Haas Le

Santa Aur Bunta Bank Lootne Gaye,
Par Pistol Bhool Gaye…
Phir Bhi Bank Loot Liya

Kyoo Ke..
Bank Manager Bhi Sardar Tha.... Bola 

“Vishwas Hai Kal Tum Bandook Dikha Doge”
Santa Ke Pita USA Se Laut Aaye.
Pita :- Teri Maa  Kahan Hai?
Santa  :-  Woh Toh  Parlok Sidhhar Gayee!
   Pita  :-  Ullu, Tune Mujhe Bataya Que Nahin?
Santa :- Maine  Socha Aapko Surprise Dunga

Bunta :-  Praji Meri Dictionary Mein "IMPOSSIBLE" Word Nahi Hai..!
Santa :  Ab Bolne Se Kya Faayda?  

Jub Kharide Thi Tab Hi Check Karna Tha Na"

Santa :-  Praji Tussi Aagle Se Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?

Banta :-  Cockroach

Santa :- Cockroach  Kyu
Bunta :-  Kyu Ke Meri Bibi Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

Santa Ko Apni Beti Ke Kamre Se Cigarette Ka Packet Mila..
Soochne Laga... Arre Yeh Cigrette Peeti Hai.. ?
Phir Usse Whisky Ki Botal Milee..

Socha...Arre Daru Bhi Peeti Hai ..?

Cupboard Khola..To Ek Nanga Ladka Khada Tha..
Phir Soocha. ."Hai Whayee Guru..Toh Yeh Sab Is Munde Ka Hai”

Santa Ko Koi Mobile Pe Tang Karta Tha
Santa Ne Naya Sim Card Kharid Kar Usse SMS Kiya..

Likha.. Mene Woh Sim Band Kar Diya Hai,

Ab Tu Toh Kya Tera Baap Bhi Mujhe Tang
Nahin Kar sakta

              

Oye Paaji, Apni Pregnant Wife Ko Itne Dard Mein Hospital Ki Jagah
                   Pizza Hut Kyun Le Ja Raha Ho........
Santa :-  Kyun Key Pizza Hut Mein "Delivery Free" Hai.!

Santa Ke Ghar Uske Sasural Wale Aaye,
Jasmeet :- Aaji Jao Bahar Se Kuch Le Kar Aao.
Santa  Bahar Gaya Aur Taxi Lekar Aa Gaya 

Bunta :- Oye Agar Neend Na Aaye To Kya Kia Jaaye?
Saanta: Neend Ka Intizar Karne Se Achha Hai Ki Banda So Hi Jaye

                                        

Ek Baar Exam Main Saawal Tha, "Challenge Kise Kehte Hain?"
Bunta Ne Sare Panna Khali Chod Ker Aakhri Panne Per Likha..
"Apne Baap Ki Aulaad Hai To Paas Ker Ke Dekh."

                        

Banta Rail Ki Patri Per So Gaya ..
Aadmi Ne Pucha Kya Kar Rahe Ho?...Train Aayegi To Mar Jaoge!
Bunta :- Mere Uper Se Hawai Jahaaz Guzar Gaya To Kuch Nahi Hua,

Train Kya Cheez Hai?

Teacher :- Delhi Me  Kutub Minar Hai.Bunta Class Mein Soo Raha Tha..Teacher Ne Utha Liya..
Teacher :-  Maina Kya Kaha ?. 
Bunta :-  Delhi Me Kutta Bimar Hai ..

Santa :- Yaar Meri Biwi Paani Se Bahut Darti Hai.
Bunta :- Tujhe Kaise Pata?
Santa :- Dopahar Ko Ghar Aaya To Woh Bathtub Mein Chaukidaar Ke Sath Naha Rahi Thi.

    Santa :- Raat Bhar Train Mein Neend Hee Nahin Aayee,

Upar Ki Seat Mili Thi..
Bunta :- Toh Exchange Kyun Nahin Kiya
Santa:- Arrey Praji, Kisse Kehta...Neeche Ke Seat Pe Koi Bhi Nahin Tha.

Santa  :-  Is Mirror Ki Kya Guarentee Hai.
Dukandar :-  Aap Isse 100 Floor Se Niche Girao,

Ye Mirror 99 Floor Tak Nahin Tutega
Santa :-  Wah Bhai Wah !! Pack Kar Do..!..
Jasmeet :- Lo Light Chalee Gayee..Garmee Lag Rahee Hai..
Santa :- Light Chali Gayee Toh Kya, Pankha Chalu Kar Do..
Jasmeet :- Lo! Ki Na Vahi Sardaron Walee Baat...
                Agar Fan Chalu Kiya Toh Mombatti Bhuj Nahin Jayegee...
                    

Santa Singh Ne Ek Kawa Paal Liya..

Aab Soochne Laaga..Kya Naam Raakhe ?
Kawa Bauhot Mulayam Tha..
To Sochne Ke Baad Usne Apne Kawve Ka Naam 'Microsoft'

Mi-Crow-soft  Rakh Diya.

 Santa:- Oye Puttar..Gabra Mat. Tu Sher Da Puttar Hai
 Beta :- Oye Papaji, Teacher Bhi Yehi Bolti Hai.. 

Ke Tu Kisi Jaanwar Ki Aulad Hai.
            

Suhag Raat Pe Santa Ne Bibi Ko 500 Ka Note Deke Kaha,

Humne Yeh Kam Kabhi Free Mein Nahin Kia.
BiBi Ne 200 Wapas Deke Kaha,  Humne Bhi Apno Se Kabhi Jyada Nahin Liya.

Santa Aur Jasmeet Ko Ladki Hui..

Jasmeet :-  Sunoji, Jab Yeh Badi Hogi Toh Ladke Usse Patayengey
Santa :-  Oye, Koi Gal Nahin Jassi, Maine Is Problem Ka Solution Dhoond Liya Hai.
Jasmeet :-  Kya Solution?
Santa :-  Hum Iska Naam “Didi” Rakhengey

Bunta Singh Puri Zindgi Sochta Raha,

... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Aur Sochte Sochte Sow Gaya Ke Agar Meri Sister Ke 2 Bhai Hai To Mere Kyu Nahi..

Nasa Mein Santa Aur Bunta Ko Chand Pe Bheja Gaya,

Rocket Uda Magar Adhe Raste Se Vapas Aaya.
....Un Se Pucha Gaya To Bole...:- Aaj Amaswas Hai Chand To Nahi Hoga.

Santa Jungle Mein Ghoom Raha Tha.. 

Pedh Par Ek Saap Latha Hua Dikhayee Diya..

Paas Gaya Aur Bola..Iss Tehra Latak Ne Se Height Nahi Badhtee..
Ghar Jao Aur Maa Se Kaho..'Complan Ya Ovaltine' Pilayee...

Bunta Aur Preeto Train Ke Liye Platform Par Khade The
Itane Me ' PUNJAB MAIL'  Aayee,
Bunta  Bhag Kar Train Par Chad Gaya...

Aur Bibi Preeto Se Bola..

Jab ' PUNJAB FEMALE'  Aaye To Chad Jaana..!

Santa :-  Parso Meri Biwi Khuwe Me Gir Gayee, Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla Rahi Thi..
Banta :-  Ab Kaisi Hai Wo..?
Santa :-  Ab Theek Hi Hogi, Kal Se Khuwe Se Awaz Nahi Aa Rahi Hai.!

Bunta Nalke Par Paani Pee Raha Tha..

Kuch Loog Jaama Ho Gaya...
Bunta Bola:- Arrey Ab Kya Ek Sardar Chain Se Paani Bhi Naih Pi Sakta..

                 Ismein Bhi Joke Chahiye Tumhe...
                 Jaan Loge Bechare Sardaron Ki..!

                                                  (¨`·.·´¨) Always
                                                    `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
                                                   (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
                                                       `·.¸.·´ 

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi :संता बंता जोक्स

                                                     : संता बंता जोक्स :
संता बंता से
संता : यार कल मैने एक आदमी को दरिया में डूबते हुए बाहर निकाल लिया.
बंता : फिर क्‍या हुआ?
संता : फिर वापिस दरिया में फेंक दिया.
बंता : तुमने ऐसा क्यों किया?
संता : कहावत है नेकी कर दरिया में डाल.

Pati Patni Chutkule | Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi

Pati Patni #Chutkule | Husband Wife #Jokes in Hindi

Wife Taare Dekh Rahi Thi Achanak Apne Husband Se Boli
Wife - Batao Wo Kaun See Cheez Hai Jo Tum Roz Dekh Sakte Ho Par Tod Nahi Sakte
Husband - Main Nahi Bataunga
Wife - Bolo Na Please
Husband - Tumhara Munh

Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi | Pati Patni jokes Chutkule

Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi | Pati Patni jokes Chutkule
Pati Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe The Achaanak Patni Ne Pooccha
Patni - Aap Us Aadmi Ki Tarah Itni Zyada Der Tak Kyun Nahi Karte ?
Pati - Pagli Wo Uski Patni Nahi Hai Na Tu Apni Bahen Se To Puchh Ke Dekh.

Patni Ne 1 Nayee Transparent Bra Kharidi Aur Pahan Ke Apne Pati Ke Samne Khadi Ho Gayi

Pati - Janu... Isme To Tum Bahut Hi Sexy Lag Rahi Ho

Patni -  Sharmate Hue - Pata Hai Salesman Bhi Yehi Keh Raha Tha.

Suhaagrat Ki Raat Ko Dulha-Dulhan Se Puchhta Hai

Dulha - Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi ?

Dulhan - Nahi Jaanu Kabhi Nahi  Kiya Bas Hamesha Karwaya Hai.

Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Munh Dikhaai Ke 25,000 Rupye Diye

Dulhan Itne Saare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli

Dulhan - Suno Ji Poora Khandaan CH0DEGA Kyaa ?

School Mein Bachche Ke Papa Ne Teacher Se Kaha

Papa - Madam Ji Thodi Koshish Aap Karo Thodi Hum Karte Hain

Bachcha To NIKAL HI JAAYEGA.

Pati Apni Patni Se Bola

Husband -  Kaash Hamare Ladki Ki Jagah Ladka Ho Jaata

Wife - Chhodo Jee - Agar Main Tumhaare Bharose Rehti To Kuchh Bhi Na Hota.

Court Mein Divorce Ke Waqt

Pati - Judge Sahab Main Apni Biwi Se Khush Nahin Hoon

Patni - Haramkhor Saara Mohalla To Khush Hai Tu Kahaan Ka Nawaab Hai.

Patni Bahut Dino Baad Maayke Jaa Rahi Thi

Pati - Kuchh Chahiye To Bolo

Patni -  Apna La-nd Kaat Kar Dedo Mazaa Bhi Aata Rahega Or Aap Par Shak Bhi Nai Hoga.

Sex Ke Samay Patni Savita Ne Apne Pati Ke Upar Susu Kar Diya

Pati - Darling Ye Kya Kiya

Patni Savita - Tum Jis Jheel Ke Sapne Dekhte Ho Ye Usi Jheel Ka Paani Hai.

Pati Apni Patni Se Bola

Pati - Kya Program Hai

Patni - Munaa So Jaaye Phir Karna Jo Karna Hai.

Pati Ne Thodi Der Baad Poochha Munna Soya Kya

Patni - Nahin Ab Tak Nahin

Pati Ne Phir Thodi Der Baad Poochha Soya Kia?

Bachcha Ye Sab Sun Raha Tha Achanak Bola

Munna - Jiski Maa CHVDNE Wali Ho Use Neend Kaise Aa Sakti Hai.

Patni Apne Pati Se Boli

Patni - Suno Ji Aaj Jab Main Apni Bra Utaar Rahi Thi Tab Ek Ladka Mujhe Dekh Raha Tha

Pati - Phir... Tumne Kya Kiya ?

Patni - Maine Sharmaate Hue Bra Se Apna Munh Chhupa Liya.

Husband Wife Se Gusse Se Poochhta Hai

Husband - Aaj Faisala Ho Ke Rahega Bata Kis-Kis Ke Saath Soti Hai ?

Wife - Qasam Se Sirf Aap Ke Saath Hi Soti Hoon Baqi Log Sone Kahan Dete Hein.

Pati Patni Sath Me Jaa Rahe The Ek Ladki Ne Hello Kiya To Patni Ne Gusse Se Poochha

Patni -  Kon Thi Ye ?

Pati -  Tum Please Mera Dimaag Mat Kharab Karo Ab Kal Usko Bhi Yahi Jawab

Dena Hai Ki Tum Kaun Ho.

Hindi Marriage and Pati Patni Jokes Chutkule

Hindi Marriage and Pati Patni Jokes Chutkule

हिन्दी चुटकुले

Funny husband Wife Hindi Joke
Patni:-sharab peen eke baad kya tumhe mera naam bhi yaad nahin rehta?
Pati:-pee lene ke baad to main har gam bhool jata hoon,meri jaan.

Nai nai car chalana sikhi biwi:aaj hum car se jaenge aur car main chalaungi.
Pati:-kon nahin,jaenge car main aur aaenge akhbaar main.


Pati patni College Joke
     Patni – Collage ke bare me tumhara koi bura anubhav hai?
    Pati – Han, Tumhari aur meri paheli mulakat college me he to hui thi.


Pati patni Sms Joke
Patni:- main tumse jo kuch bhi kahti hu tum ek kaan se sunkar doosre se nikaal dete ho.
Pati:-aur main tumse kuch bhi kahta hu to tum dono kaan se sunkar muh se nikaal deti ho.


Funny Pati patni Joke
Pati:-main jeevan main aaj jo kuch bhi bana hoon,apne aap bana hoon.
Patni:-lo, main aaj tak bekar hi bhagwaan ko kosti rahi.


Pati patni Sms
Patni:-kyon jab main moti hojaaungi,tab bhi tum mujhe aise hi pyaar karoge?
Pati:-bilkul nahin, maine sirf such dukh main saath dene ka vaada kiya tha.


Pati Patni Joke
patni : suno ji, bus me aapko logo neitna kyon mara?
pati : Are mera ek photo bus main ek aurt ke pair ke niche gir gaya tha aur mene kaha
madam zara saree uper kijiye photo lena hai….

Hindi Joke about Husband Wife
Pati:-aaj main sabha pati banunga.
Patni:-khabardaar jo aap mere alawa kisi aur ke pati bane.


Pati patni Hindi Joke
pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
patni: Kyonji ! kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.


Hindi Husband Wife Joke
patni: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon


Cute wife joke
     patni: “Aapne pichle saal salgireh pe mujhe lohay ka bed diya tha, Iss baar aapka kya iraada hai?”
pati: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”


Funny husband Wife Sms
Patni: -suno ji,aapko mujhme kya achcha lagta hai. meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
pati: -mujhe to tumhari ye mazak karne ki aadat bahot pasand hai.


Funny Cute wife sms Joke
Pati :- main tumhare saath kuch bhi share kar sakta hu.
Patni:-chalo phir bank account se start karte hain.


Funny Wife Sms
Pati:-mere mrne ke baad tumhe mere jaisa doosra aadmi nahin milega.
Patni:- tumhe kisne keh diya, ki main doosra aadmi tumhare jaisa chahti hoon.


Husbands joke on marriage
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.


Funny relationship Hindi Joke
Patni:- main tumhare bina mar jaaungi.
Pati:-main bhi mar jaaunga. Itni khushi main bardasht nahin kar paaunga.


Husband wife joke
Pati:-mani abhi saree ka fanda banakar faansi laga loonga.
Patni:-kya gajab karte ho,nai saree hai.


Funny teasing joke
Pati:-jab bhi main is talwaar ko dekhta hoon to mujhe ladai per jaane ka mann karta hai.
Patni:-to phir jaate kyon nahin?
Pati:-phir unki tooti hui taang yaad aa jaati hai.


Husband wife joke in Hindi
Husband wife ki godi me leta hua tha,
Wife – kesa lag raha he ji?
Husband- jese visnu bhagwan shesnaag ki god me lete ho.


Pati Patni Hindi Joke
Ek makeup sacheton lady ne mritu kaal par uski pati se daka.
Pati:bolo tumhara antim issa keya hai?
Patni:mere marne ke bad meri sundar tasbir akhbar pe chapne par mere age math  likhna.
Pati:kiun?
Patni:kiun ki log ye jan jayega ke meine budhi ho gaya tha.

Marriage Joke Hindi
Husband:  Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?

Husband:  Pagal ka kya hai, o kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Cat and Wife Joke
Santa banta  Se Puchha Ki-Tum agli  Janam Me Kya Ban’na chaho gi?

banta-” A Billi”
Why?

Because  Meri Wife Sirf billi Se Hi Darti Hai

Marriage Joke in Hindi
kya larki thi...
Shohar: Kal mere khuab main ek larki aai thi,
Wah! kya larki thi.

Bibi: Akeli he aai hogi?

Shohar: Tumko kese pata:

Bibi: Uska husband mere khuab main
tha.

Marriage Joke
Pyar b ajab shay he

Maa se payar hota hai to Ebadat
Baap se payar hota hai  to Muqadas
Bhai se payar hota hai  to Aqidat
Didi  se payar hota hai ho to Farz
&
Wife  se payar  hota hai  to
sab kehte hen k SALA BIWI ka GHULAM H     hain

Husband and Wife
Wife:  Ma bachunga nahi  Marr jaongi...

Husband   : Mein bhi Marr jaon ga!

Wife :  Mein to Bimaar hoon isleya marr jaungi  tum kyon maro gaey ?

Husband :  Mein itni Khushi Bardasht nahi kar sakta !

Marriage
Beta papa ko pucha: papa sadi kana ma kitna  kharch hota hai
Papa na bola : mujee pata nahi hay beta !
May abibhi  uska lia pay karta hoo .


Hindi Marriage Joke
Shaadi karne ki baad aur shaadi karne ki aage

1. tumhare baat kokil ki tarah hai.
dhat,kan ki kach me ghanor ghanor nahi karna

2. biswas karo, meine tumko bina nahi reh parunga.
har baat me tum tumhari bap ki baari jane ke baat nahi karna, jao na tumko koun rokha hai?

3. tumko liee maine hajar saal bachna parunga.
uff, tumhare sansar mein mere jiban ekbare biss ho gaya.
 
Aapko dhund raha hai

4. future ki baat soch kar ek  moment par aap crore paysa kharcha kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai Political dall ne(Aapko election par khare karne ke liee).

5. onle ek abul biri ke liee aap ek aadmi ki hatma kar sakti hai.
Aapko dhund raha hai RAB(dunia ki narak dekhne ke liee).

6. aapki do haat mein kharach karna paroge?
Aapko dhund raha hai ladkione.

7. keyaa aap ek palak par jo vi opokarm karna parte hai?
Aapko dhund raha hai Police force.

Hindi Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Bibi:kyeaa hua tumko aj bohot khus najar a raha hai?
Pappu:nahi kuch nahi. Tum bahar ja rahe ho iss lyee
Bibi: uss lyee tumhare khus hone se kyeaa irada hai.
Pappu: meri ek dawat hai meine vi uha jaunga. Tum agar bahar jaoge tab maine bahar jane parunga na!!!

Funny Wife Joke
Bibi:jiban par maine koi punno kia tha us liee tumhare tarah pati mila.
Swami:aur mere liee wo paap ki sasti hai

Hilarious Husband and Wife
Pati:kaha ja rahe ho?

Patni: Jahannam par.

Pati: Thank you,jao.

Funny Pati and Patni
Pati:mehman ko khana dia magar chamach kiu nahi dia?

Patni:voi paa karke.

Pati:kasko voi pa kar.

Patni:usko chamach hai ye jodi samajh jayee iss lyee.

Funny Hindi Pati Patni Joke
Patni:tumhare paas koi arman pesh kar gaya to tum bola paysa nahi hai.

Pati:keyaa nahi di tumko? To jo tumko dena parega uski paas jao na.

Pati Patni Joke
Patni:meine Babaki ghar mein kitni sukhi tha,tumare ghar a kar meri jiban ses ho gaya.

Pati: keyaa hua?

Patni:keyaa nahi hua? Tumhre pas meine ek diamond ki neckless chaha magar tumhare iss month par pocket khali…

Funny Husband and Wife Marriage Joke
Ek din ek busstand me vul kar yatri log gaitlok samajh kar
Local gari me uth gaya, gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay
Yatri:keya hua bhai gari to rukh rukh kar jata hay kiu?
Helper: yeh to local hai..
Yatri: local aur gatelock yeh to tum log dega us lie yatri log samassa mein parega kiun?

Funny Joke in Hindi
Swami: basar rat mein uski wife ko 100 rs. De kar sorry bola, mujhe bhul ho gaye, sab samay deta hu to habit ho gaya.
Patni: tum to mujhko rupee de rahe ho, mein to mere cousin ko free dia.

Hindi Husband and Wife Joke
Husband ek rat kagaj mein likh kar rakha 7 am par mujhe jara dak dena
Wife woh dekh kar likha: already 7am. Baj gaya.

Santa Banta Jokes and Chutkule in hindi

Santa Banta Jokes and Chutkule

Santa ko Phasi ki Saja hui
Jailer : Phasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa : Biwi Se
Jailer : Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa : Maa-Baap to agla janm lete hi mil jyenge

biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!!

************

Santa Ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha... Hindi Teacher ne usko ped par ULTA latakne ki saza di...

Thodi der Latakne ke baad Santa Neeche gir gaya...
Teacher : Thak gaye kya ?
Santa : Nahi ab pakk gaya


***********

Santa : Agar raat ko Macchar kate to kya karna chahiye

Banta : Khuzla kar so jana Chahiye, Tum RajniKant nahi ho jo Machhar ko pakadkar SORRY Bulwaoge...

***********

Teacher : "Ye Kitaab Kiski Hai? "

Santa : " Kagaz Ki Hai "

Teacher : " Ye To Main Bhi Janta Hoon "

Santa : " To Harami Fir Puch Kyu Raha Hai? "

***********

Bhikhari Santa se : Sahab 10 Rupee de do.. Chaye pini hai,
Santa : Chaye to 5 ki aati hai!
Bhikari : Meri Girl friend bhi Piyegi,
Santa : Bhikari ne bhi Girl Friend bana li!
Bhikari : Nahi Sahab, Girl Friend ne Bhikari bana diya...

***********

Santa public toilet mai gya to diwar per likha tha "Duniya Chand pe Pahuch gai or tu Yaha baitha Hai"
…………………………………..
Santa niche likh aya "Bas TATTI kar ke HUm bhi nikal rahe hain"

***********

Santa : (Futball ke maidan par Banta se) - Are ye log bar bar Ball ko kyu maar rahe hai ?
Banta : Are wo log Gol kar rahe hain,
Santa : Are ball to pahale se hi Gol hai, Aur kitna Gol karenge....

***********

Santa : Aaj Rat main nahi Souunga,
Banta : Kyu ?
Santa : kyuki kal raat sapane main meri kisi se Ladaii ho gayi thi, Aaj wo Bande le kar aayega....

***********

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.

Banta : Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?

Santa : Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

***********

Girl : Will u marry me?

Santa : No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.

Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

***********

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa : Who r u?

Girl : Seeta here.

Santa : Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

***********

Banta : Apki Patni kho gayi hai, Aapne Police main kyu nahi Bataya,
Santa : kyuki jab mera Scooter kho gaya tha to Police walo ne 15-20 din chala kar wapas kiya tha....

***********

Santa ke Pita America se Wapas aaye !
Pita : teri Ma kaha hai,
Santa : wo to Mar gayi,
Pita : To tumne bataya kyu nahi,
Santa : Mane socha apko Surprise dunga...

Majedar Chutkule - Latest and Majedar Chutkule hi Chutkule - Mast Chutkule - Hindi Chutkule

 

 Girl : Papa Ek Ladka bar bar I LovE U bolta hai
Kya karun?
-
-
Father : Beta us se shadi kr le Zindagi mein agar dubara bol de to mera Naam badal dena...

***********

Doctor to Aishwarya's baby:
you know who is ur Grand father?
Baby: yes, Big B
Who's ur Mother: Miss world Aishwarya.
Then who is ur father?
-
-
-
-
Baby: No IDEA sirji. -:)

***********

Pappu : yaar jab main maru to mere maatam pe samne wale padosiyon ko zarur bulana
Peter: kyun?
Pappu : yaar us ghar ki auratein laash se lipat-lipat kr roti hai !!!

***************

LALU : "I love u" iska matlab ka hota hai?
SONIA : Mai tumse pyar karti hu.
LALU : Lo kar lo baat...
"> Angreji me ek sawal kya puch liya,
Pagli fida ho gayi humpe. :-D

***********

Ek bar ek Sarabi Apni Eye donate karne gaya
Doctor ne Sarabi se pucha : Kuch kahana chahte ho
Sarabi : yes, Jisko bhi meri ye Eye lagaoo pls usko bata dena ki ye 2 pag lagane ke baad hi khulti hain.... :) :)

***********

Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant
mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?
Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.
Baccha : Itna pyara tha to khaya
kyu ussko?

***********

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

***********

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

Wife replied: tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
Sardar: 3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar: 3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle ;->

***********

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

***********

Santa : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess‚
Guess
-
-
-
Banta : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.

***********

Teacher: Tumhare Abbu Kya Kaam Karte Hain?

Bacha: UPS ke Maalik hain.
Teacher: Nice.
Acha ye UPS ka kya matlab hai?

Bacha: "Usman Pakora Shop" :-)

***********

Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

***********

Girlfriend: Its 2 tight
Boyfriend: Dont worry,I will put it slowly,

Girlfriend: Push it in,
Boyfriend: Ah..I cant,
Girlfriend: Its painful,
Boyfriend: Forget it.
-
-
-
Well buy new WEDDING RING!

***********

Ek Chiti ne Hathi se kaha - Kya tum apna underwear mujhe 4 din ke liye udhar main de sakte ho?
Hathi (laughing) - Kya tum mere underwear ko pehnogi!!
-
-
-
-
Chiti - Nahi re... beti ki Sadi ke liye pandal lagana hai!

Chutkule on Boy and Girl - Jokes on Girl Friend Boy Friend Chutkule

 Chutkule on Boy and Girl - Jokes Girl Friend Boy Friend Chutkule

 Girl : Arey itna bada Munh mein kaise aayega...
Boy : Jaldi se Munh kholo...
Girl : Oops.. Sare kapray geelay ho gaye...
Boy : Aur lo gee...

Girl : NA baba na yeh Gol Gapey tum he khaoo...

*********

A Boy ask to A Girl - Can you dance with me??

Girl - (with attitude) I don’t dance with a child.

Boy - Oh! Sorry aunty! I didn’t know you are a pregnant!

*********

Girlfrnd ko apni plko par bitha lo
De ke khushi uske sare gum chura lo
Pyar karo uski saheli ke samne itna ki
-
-
-
-
-
Uski saheli bhi aa k kahe "JANU" mujhe bhi PATA
lo..

*************

Why Indian Girls r not in sports ?

Only 10% r playing hockey, chess etc..
-
-
Bcoz 90% r busy in playing wid Boys... Jaanu ye, Jaanu wo, Jaanu, Jaanu,
-
-
Jaan Le lo Jaanu Ki!!!

***********

Boy to Girl : Sex kartay hue zyada Maza ladki ko aata hai ya
ladkay ko?
Girl : agar tum apnay kaan (ear) main ungle (fingure) dalo
gay to kaan ko maza aata hai ya unglee ko...

*************

Lady Teacher : Soch aur waham main kya fark hai???.
student: Aap mast item hain, yeh hamari soch hai aur hum bacche hain, ye aapka waham hai...

***********

Santa : What do woman usually say after Sex?
Banta : I Luv You ?

Wrong!!

Banta : That was great?
Wrong Again!
Banta : I Luv it?
Aray Nahi Yaar....

Sahi Jawab Hai - Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai...

**********

Ladka Ladki say : Tum gana bohot acha gatey hoee ..
Ladki : Nahe yaar main to sirf bathroom singer hon,
Boy : achha… to kisi din bulao na dono mil k Mehfil jamatay hain ..

**********

Boy : please karne do na

Girl : Nahi bus karo

Boy : plz thora aur karne do plz

Girl : Kab se to kar rahe ho

Boy : bus thora aur tum sahi se khol kar raho

Girl : jaldi karo koi dekh le ga

Boy : kuch nhi hota bus thora aur

Girl : bus bahut ho gaya ab nhi karne doongi

*
*
*
*
*
Boy : plz thora aur Nakal karne do warna me exam me fail ho jaoonga...

***********

Girl : I Love u Dear
Boy : Different style me propose karo na please...

Girl : Teri Lash ko Aag Lagane Ka Chance mere bete ko Dega Kya... :) :)

**********

Maa : Nalayak, kaha thi itni Raat tak?
Beti : Boyfriend ke saath.
Maa : Kar aayi na Muh kaala...

Beti : To kya hua maa, "Fair & Lovely" hai na?...

Best Funny Shayari Collection in Hindi

Best Funny Shayari Collection in Hindi 

धन से बेशक गरीब रहो पर दिल से रहना धनवान;
अक्सर झोपडी पे लिखा होता है सुस्वागतम;
और महल वाले लिखते है कुत्ते से सावधान।

**********************************
 तेरे ग़म में तड़प कर मर जायेंगे;
मर गए तो तेरा नाम ले जायेंगे;
रिश्वत देकर तुझे भी बुलायेंगे;
तुम ऊपर आओगे तो साथ बैठकर कुरकुरे खायेंगे।

*************************************

ऐ दोस्त बांध ले कफन मे व्हिस्की की बोतल,
कब्र मेँ बैठकर पिया करेगे;
इन लङकियो से तो मिली बेवफाई,
अब चुड़ैलों से सेटिंग किया करेंगे!
 ************************************

Hindi Jokes in Hindi Font Funny Chutkule

रात भर मुझे इस बात ने सोने नहीँ दिया कि...
ज़िन्दगी तो बस 4 दिन की है और...

इंटरनेट-पैक मैने 30 दिन का डलवा लिया।

************************************
 
डॉक्टर: और अब कैसा है तुम्हारा सिरदर्द?

मरीज: वह तो आजकल मायके में है.

************************************
 

गेम शो होस्ट: अगर आपकी बीवी और सास पर कोई बाघ हमला कर दे तो आप पहले किसको बचाएंगे?

पप्पू: बेशक बाघ को, आखिर बेचारे बचे ही कितने हैं...

Patni Chalisa in Hindi- पत्नी चालीसा Wifes Prayer Funny

‘पत्नी चालीसा.’
नमो-नमो पत्नी महारानी,
तुम्हरी महिमा कोई न जानि,
हमने समझा तुम अबला हो,
पर तुमतो सबसे बड़ी बला हो,
जिस दिन हाथ में बेलन आवे,
उस दिन पति खूब चिल्लावे,
सारे बैड पे पत्नी सोवे,
पति बैठ फर्श पर रोवे,
तुमसे ही घर मथुरा काशी,
और तुमसे ही घर सत्यानासी,
पत्नी चालीसा जो नर गावे,
सब सुख छोड़ परम दुःख पावे.


‘PATNI CHALISA.’
Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhri mhima koi na jani,
Hmne smjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sbse bdi bla ho,
Jis din hath me belan aawe,
us din PATI khub chillave,
Sare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove,
Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASHI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi,
PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave.

Aaj Kal Ki Ladkiya

Aaj Kal Ki Ladkiya

Gor Farmaiyega..

AaJ KaL Ki Ladkiya Husn Pe NaaZ Karti Hai..

Wah...wah...

AaJ KaL Ki Ladkiya Husn Pe NaaZ Karti Hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Grammar to aata nahi Magar english mein baat karti hai..

Funny Shayari : Arz Kiya hai

Funny Shayari (Chutkule)
Hindi Jokes
Arz kiya hai...
.
.
kitni haseen ho aap..
kitni haseen ho aap...
.
.
.
khud ko duniya ki nazro se bachaya karo....
.
.
wah wah wah wah
.
.
ankho me kajal hi kafi nahi....
ankho me kajal hi kafi nhi
.
.gale m nimbu mirch bhi latkaya karo

Wah Wah Wah Cid Jokes

Exam tha sar par aur bachon ne
padhna chor diya...

Wah Wah..
.
..
Exam tha sar par aur bachonne
parna chor diya..

..
.
CID KA ACP tha toilet me..
Aur DAYA ne darwaza tod diya..

Santa Banta Chutkule : Santa ki Maa

 Santa Banta Chutkule

Santa ki Maa - 20 saal tak meri koi aulad nahin hui thi.
.
.
Press reporter - Fir aapne kya kiya ?
.
.
.
Santa ki Maa - Fir main 21 saal ki hui to
.
.
papa ne meri shaadi karai.
.
Fir jaa ke Santa hua.